brainxplosion

huh?

2006-05-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

Hi! What are you still doing here? Don't you know that all the cool people are now over at girlwithgreencard? Go ahead, click it! It won't hurt, I promise! See y'all over there! Wheeee!

it's okay, I'll speak SLOWLY

2006-05-15T17:37:00.000-07:00

Hi!
There's something I need you to do. It's easy enough, I promise.
READ ALL THE DIRECTIONS FIRST, OKAY?!!

1. Scroll down and watch the "Evolution of Dance" Video.
It's 6 wisely invested minutes and I just wouldn't feel right if you didn't see it.

2. When you've recovered from the laughing, you may watch it again. It's okay, I'll wait here while you do it.

3. Then, read about how awesome my husband is. I KNOW! Pretty awesome, huh?!!

4. Whan that's done, and ONLY AFTER you have read those two VERY IMPORTANT POSTS, you may click here. Enjoy.

I just died and died again because happy! happy!

2006-05-15T13:08:00.000-07:00

Hi there, Internet!
Let me tell you some news.
1. D. and I tricked crap box into letting us install the Microsoft Office.
2. My parents are coming back from their national park trip tomorrow night.
3. I'm graduating officially this Friday.
4. The Ducks swept Colorado off the ice. HAHAHA! This means WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS, BABY!
5. Tickets for the next two home games went on sale Saturday at 12pm. At 1:30pm, when I thought to look for tickets, there were no two seats next to each other for either of the games available. Hmpf.
6. I just got the following email:

Sonja,

I am presuming that your parents will want to pack Sunday night (May
21st). I envision us being at JP Getty Museum from 11-5. On our return
home, I envision dropping you off at the Mighty Ducks Anaheim Pond for
Game 2 of the Western Conference Finals and taking your parents home to
pack. I will drive back to pick you up when the game is finished. I will be with you in spirit listening on the Internet with my cell phone handy for major hurrrahhhh moments. I think you should go for this. This is part of you graduation gift, but I
thought you needed to know in advance. I love you bunches.

D.

comedic genius

2006-05-14T14:37:00.000-07:00

Please click and view the magic that is The Evolution of Dance. You'll thank me right around the time you hear YMCA (or sooner). You can find more info about Judson Laipply on his website.

introducing... crapbox

2006-05-12T17:34:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said I'd tell you about my computer eating my yummy data? Here you have it:

On Monday, my computer started making charming sounds, sort of like somebody holding a thin stick into a moving bicycle wheel ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Hmpf, I thought and tried to shut it down. It refused, so I turned it off manually to show that machine who's boss. As it turns out, boss wasn't me... and when I turned it back on, it had reset itself to some sort of sorry excuse of its factory settings.
Today, I had the honor of reformatting it. My favorite part of that process (ha!) is where you get to assign the computer a name. My PC has been Nemo and Frodo (because we're nerds, that's why).
The name it got today is Crapbox. That'll show him!

name that, uh, thing

2006-05-11T14:19:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about revamping this website for a while now. As you can see, I haven't actually done anything yet, but that's because I can't think of a name. I've outgrown "brainxplosion," but instead of exploding with new names, my brain is empty. BUT since you are great audience participation night participators and smart, funny people, I figured I'd assign this to you.

NAME ME!
Here are the rules:
1. don't censor yourself - comment with your idea even if you think it's lame-ish-like
2. if you can come up with a name AND a tagline, I might just love you forever
3. don't be shy - participate

regarding TV

2006-05-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

Because lists are gloriously wonderful things, here's one of the stuff I've watched on TV lately. And yes, they are stupid shows. Shut up.

1. Seventh Heaven. WAIT WAIT, I CAN EXPLAIN! This is not what it looks like! I only watched this episode becuase I knew that it was the last one EVER. I subjected myself to the torture of the insipid dialogue (that was in awfulness only surpassed by the abominable acting) to celebrate the fact that FINALLY somebody came to their senses and put a stop to this madness.
And can I just say: It is beyond the usual level of cheesieness (and that's really a compliment, in a very twisted way) to have three girls pregnant with twins at the same time. FAR beyond it.

2. Everwood. Hmm. I loved how Hannah got her anger out. Otherwise kind of a hmmm episode - I'm starting to be very annoyed by the constant regurgitation of the hints at a romantic Ephram-Amy and Andy-Nina connection. That so Dawson's Creek.

3. Gilmore Girls. Someone help me because I think the Palladinos are trying to kill me. I don't want to spoil it for TiVoers, but Holy. Mackerel. I'm shaking a little bit, I believe, because... argh!

back with a vengance - or maybebly just a list

2006-05-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

I'm back. And stressed out. I run around like a head with the chicken cut off.* Here you go with a list of things I will, I really, really will write about soonishly.

1. my computer crapping out on me and losing my data
2. my Spanish exam that's TODAY
3. my Spanish final project report that's due soon** and isn't even started yet
4. my vibrating car
5. audience participation backlog of excellent writing topics
6. trip to Death Valley
7. trip to Hoover Dam
8. my car being over the hill
9. my job search without a resume
10. my new motto for life
11. what it feels like to spend your day off at Midas, waiting for your car to get new brake pads
12. the evil that is Cesar's Palace in Las Vegas
13. The DaVinci Code
14. the last episode EVER (thankfully) of Seventh Heaven
15. the Gilmore Girls season finale which I am so looking forward to... SO VERY MUCH!

*It pains me to admit it, but I did not think of this clever little word game. I'd give credit to the person who said it, but I don't remember who it was. Brain = fried.
**Jup. I don't even know the due date for sure, because la profesora can be quite cryptic and gets mad at people asking questions someone else has already asked.

2006-04-29T11:25:00.000-07:00

The following arrived in my email-inbox yesterday. It was forwarded to everyone in the address book of the person I received it from (ie it was not something she sent just to me). I'm sure that the sender didn't mean any harm, but this hurt me somewhere so deep down that I don't even understand why it hurt so much.

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2 Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

Please discuss.
(PS: Gracie, I will answer your writing prompt shortly. It's a complex story, and I'm still working through the emotional aftermath of the end of my tugboating career. You understand, don't you?!)

intermission

2006-04-28T07:05:00.000-07:00

They won they won they won!
I watched part of last night's Ducks game at TGI Friday's with a couple of people from my Spanish class. It was the most surreal experience, because I was the one who knew the most about the game... and I don't know much, trust me.

Now scroll down and PARTICIPATE!!! Um, please.

audience participation night II

2006-04-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

Welcome to audience participation night here at Brainxplosion.

Nicole had some questions for me, so here we go:

1. How did you meet your husband?
I was in Calilfornia as an AuPair. One of the few friends I did have over here talked me into going to her youth group's Christmas party. I reluctantly agreed. When we arrived, she was nice enough to introduce me to everyone waiting for the boat to dock saying "This is my friend Sonja. She's from Germany." which of course is the same as saying "You must now stare at her and ask polite, complicated questions aimed to make her feel included. In short, your behavior must make her writhe in silent agony." After that announcement, D. came up to me and spoke German to me. Lemme tell ya - wanna win over a foreigner? Speak their language! (After all, look where it got D.!)
There is some argument as to who took whose hand first, but since I'm telling the story, you're getting the truth: Me! I grabbed his hand sometime on the ship, AND I gave him my number. Six days later, D. proposed, which of course freaked me right out of my little mind. And yet, we got engaged six weeks after we met, and by the time we got married, we had only dated for nine months, five of which were spent on separate continents. What can I say? It worked for us!

2. Do you like sauerbratten? Respond in German, bitte.
Sauerbraten ist ganz okay. I esse eigntlich nicht so gerne Fleisch, deshalb ist es nicht eines meiner Lieblingsgerichte.
Let me know if you were joking about the "respond in German" part and I'll gladly translate.

3. Bried, bikini, thong, none, or other?
I do like brie cheese, but I'm assuming you meant to type "brief." Hmmm. The correct answer is bikini, esp. from Body Gap. I've tried the thong thang, but I prefer to floss my teeth, ya know what I'm sayin'?

A warm round of applause to Nicole, who was forthcoming with her (excellent) questions. Now it's your turn! Ask me anything, even the good old "fold or wad," and I'll be happy to write about it!

audience participation night

2006-04-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

Writer's Block 2006 continues, and European needs your help. Give me a writing assignment! Leave me a comment or send me an email telling me what you want me to write about. After writing a speech with the topic "Reach for the stars" I feel that I will be well-prepared to take on almost anything.
And... make it good - I'm counting on you!

Just a Girl is first in line (unknowingly), as she asked me to share my travel plans. Here goes:

The European Parents (henceforth to be known as EP) are coming in this Monday. I'm picking them up from the airport (LAX). Since they are landing in the middle of rush hour, we are going to make our way over to Hollywood to see the Walk of Fame and the Chinese Theater and the Hollywood Sign (from far away).
On Tuesday, I don't have to work and we will do any or all of the following: beach visit, shopping, outlet shopping, napping, eating, close-range sight-seeing.
On Wednesday, I have to work, so the EP will be on their own during the day, but my in-laws are coming over for dinner later that afternoon. Should be fun!
On Thursday, the EP and I will drive to Death Valley NP, stay at a ridiculously expensive hotel, eat bad food, and enjoy the scenery. On Saturday, we're going on to Las Vegas, where we are picking D. up from the airport. The rest of Saturday will be spent between Valley of Fire SP and Lake Mead. On Sunday, D. and I will drive home, while the EP are renting a car and driving to the Grand Canyon. And while D. and I get to go back to work and do the daily grind, they will visit Page, AZ and Lake Powell, and Bryce and Zion NPs.
On the 16th, the EP are flying from Vegas back here, and then I have three (3) days off (!) to enjoy with my parents.
On the 19th, I (officially) graduate with my credential and then we'll party like it's 1999 (hmmm). That weekend is D.'s College reunion, so we'll do some of their activities and we'll visit the Getty Museum. And then the EPs leave and all the excitment will be over.

And those right there are my travel plans. Thank you for playing, Just a Girl!

PS: I got sick of all the linking after a while. Just google it yourself. And don't forget to give me a writing assignment/topic, please.

insert witty title here

2006-04-26T16:59:00.000-07:00

There would be an update right here, if I remembered any of the things I'd like to write about or if I could think of anything worthwhile.
Surely a list will appease the natives?
things I am thinking but not posting about:
1. standardized testing for elementary grades
2. snotty-liar-cheater children
3. travel plans
4. dinner
5. finding substitutes for the time I need to take off
6. Ducks lost a home game last night
7. I can't go to the Ducks game tomorrow night
8. file the papers that are on the floor, desk, coffee table, couch, TV, and coffee maker
9. get some sleep
10. Spanish homework, vocabulary, and final project

Ducks v Flames reflections

2006-04-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

It's widely known that I'm not a sports type person. I'm one of those who watch The Superbowl solely for The Commercials (partially because yawn and partially because though I've tried, I fail to see the point to football). I do whatever I can to avoid watching "The Game", except when "The Game" is soccer, which is when I can watch for about 17.5 minutes before dozing off.
On Monday, D. dragged me (almost literally) to a Mighty Ducks game at the Anaheim Pond. I had lots of reasons not to go. Day after Easter. Commute/traffic. Crowds of beer-bellied sports fans to creep me out. Late return home on a school night. Don't like hockey. Don't know hockey rules. Reserve right to leave early. Reserve right to complain all night.
BUT OH! OH THE GAME! I had so much fun that I'm actually blushing writing about it. Somewhere between sitting in the best seats in the house (those are the ones that are really high up, right?!) and freezing my I-insist-on-flip-flops toes off and the moment those guys came skating out onto the ice, I absolutely fell in love with ice hockey and the Mighty Ducks specifically. This new romance led me to do a few things I never thought possible:
1. yelling
2. yelling "Shoot it!" at the players who probably couldn't really hear me
3. standing up cheering for goals
4. remembering that #27 just got out of the penalty box
5. figuring out where and what the penalty box was and where on the scoreboard it showed who was in there and for how much longer
6. laughing an evil hehehehe when the one of the Flames got a 10 minute penalty for fighting (it still makes me laugh evilly - hehehe)
7. scheming how to get a Ducks jersey for less than the $235 it costs at the team store - and by less, I mean CONSIDERABLY less
8. dreaming of going to a playoff game because MY DUCKS! IN THE PLAYOFFS! LOVE! EXCITEMENT!
9. Trying to figure out how to get ESPN to be able to watch the playoffs from the comfort of my own home*
10. cheered during the fist fights (I know - sad, huh?!)

And as an added bonus, four things I did not do, even though they were popular:
1. cheered during the US national anthem
2. booed out the Flames when they came onto the ice (couldn't do it. Could. Not.)
3. purchased nachos or beer
4. purchased a jersey

Anaheim Pond, packed
Originally uploaded by European.

*no cable, no satellite, no TiVo. I also have no microwave, but that's a different story.

donate blood, play hockey

2006-04-17T23:14:00.000-07:00

This is where I was tonight. Pictures will follow. Note that in a 60 minute game, there were 102 penalty minutes and about seven or eight fist fights.
Hockey at its best!

2006-04-12T23:04:00.000-07:00

Wondering what I've been up to, have you? Well, you had to ask:

1. The Bathroom
I'm glad to say that the bathroom is, after less than a month of work and procrastination, finished. As in, done. And it looks fantabulous!
After these certainly very lovely events, one may have thought things had to get better, but (surprise, surprise) they got worse first. Or at least, they didn't improve. Here's what happened when I took down the mirror:
I spent the rest of the weekend priming and painting. After that, it only took about a week to clean up all the painting paraphernalia that was slowly spreading from the bathroom through the hallway into the rest of the house, and only another weekend to put up all the new hardware. Last week, I finally bought a new mirror and yesterday, I had a brilliant idea for some art to hang up. Here's what I made:
I'm really proud of myself - I took the pictures, I painted the frames, I hung those pictures up with astonishing precision... and I didn't even hurt myself in the process!
Here are the glamor shots of the bathroom:

2. Not resting on your laurels: The Kitchen
I have my spring break right now. Last weekend, D. asked me if I wanted to paint the kitchen. Everything in me screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOO!, but last night after Spanish class (in which time passed uncharacteristically fast), I decided to pull a Nike and, you know, just do it.
This morning, I prepped. And by "this morning," I mean practically all day. One of the bigger issues was the moving of the fridge and the stove. D. thought that it'd be fine if we just moved them "out a little" so I could reach behind, but the crazy prefectionist in me came out and argued for a full removal and complete disconnect of the above mentioned appliances. Well, D. won (mainly because I can't move those appliances by myself). When I scooted the fridge away from the wall this morning, I found a lovely surprise behind it. Love. Ly! Last summer, this blog was all about ants for a little while. Well, I have apparently solved the riddle of "where do they keep coming from?!!" And here's the answer:
An anthill under the fridge. Nasty, huh? I just want to state for the record that the baseboard is not wet (looks a little wet in the picture) and that the majority of what you see is sand the ants brought in from the outdoors. Do they use it like kitty litter? I have no idea. But sand it is. Up to now I have been very gentle with these creepy crawlers. Thoughts of my own poison-free well-being and the environment and the food chain... were forgotten this morning as I raced to the garage for the Raid.
This means WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!
Bye-bye, invaders!
So far, the kitchen remodel has been eventless (other than the eradication of an entire ant colony - har, har). There are pictures to see on flickr (link in sidebar).

3. anonymous grapefruit
My husband, D. likes his anonymity. Hence the abbreviation of his name and his absence from my pictures. But last weekend, I managed to take a picture of him that he will allow on this website. It is with pride and fondness that I give you Grapefruit-Man:
The fact that he was voluntarily holding grapfruit halves over his eyes and that he let me take a picture of that tells you volumes about how right we are for each other.

4. traveling and light reading
My parents are coming for a visit and for my graduation. They are going to travel around for a little, so I am currently helping them plan their trip to Death Valley NP and Grand Canyon NP and a bunch of stuff in between (Valley of Fire State Park, Bryce and Zion, Petrified Forest...). Any tips?

5. Sleep
I am going to sleep, right now. *yawn*

a case of the mondays

2006-04-10T13:17:00.000-07:00

You know you're having a bad day when you start wishing you'd taken a picture of the doggie-doo during the dog-sitting weekend, so you could now post it under the heading "This is the kind of day I'm having".

not talking about it and procrastination

2006-04-06T14:35:00.000-07:00

Today I read something on the internet that made me feel really sad for families who have to leave kids in daycare. I'm not going into it here because I just don't care for the controversy. And you can't make me, so there!

Meanwhile, I will give you a list of things I may or may not have done lately instead of studying for my Spanish exam:
1. We had lasagna for dinner yesterday. Homemade lasagna, which translates to Sonja-made lasagna.
2. I put all the shoes into the plastic boxes in the hallway closet.
3. I watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Fun times!
4. I cleaned the bathroom.
5. I drew patterns with some real nice markers.
6. I surfed the web.
7. I checked my email every couple of minutes.
8. I went outside to see if the mail had arrived yet (not yet, but I will go check again in a moment) and ended up weeding the little strip of dirt I call my "cactus bed"
9. I got attacked by a viscious cactus. This warrants another post since there's a story of a freak-out and pictures of my mangled limb, but to be quite honest, I'm too lazy to go get the camera from the bathroom. So you'll have to wait.
10. I monitored my cactus-inflicted wound for swelling and oozing (neither of which has happened yet).

as if you wanted to read about that

2006-04-05T18:31:00.000-07:00

You may or may not recall me talking about my extreeeeemely interesting Spanish class on this site. Well, you're in luck! Last week, I wrote some partially cryptic notes (half of which I no longer remember the meaning of) to give you a taste of what my life in Spanish is like:
La vida loca.

4:27 see hummingbird and want to take picture, but am holding bag, purse, jacket and am also eating chips and talking on cell phone. will photograph local wildlife another time
4:31 class has started
4:38 bored but not hungry. think about chips and advertised "great multigrain taste" giggle about that stupid phrase
4:40 the Weird Couple walks in. today, she's sporting head-to-toe purple fleece with stars and moons. Wha...?
4:44 classmates' pronunciation is making me physically ill.
4:45 sign on bulletin board for socks in a box drive. asks for donations of New socks. New is capitalized and underlined twice. Yup, this is a college. Go figure.
4:46 roll call. jerk with red hair has dropped class, apparently, as has friendly kid who wanted to "study" with me
4:48 contemplate how slowly time passes I
4:50 annoying male half of Weird Couple asking question with such detail that nobody else would have thought of it
4:52 hit head on chair while ppicking up waterbottle. ouch.
4:59 scratching paint off nails while contemplating bathroom run. sadly, it is too early as I only allow myself to go once during class time. I will need the break much more later in the game.
5:03 called on me. hot face, but good sentence. So there.
5:06 stupid exercise. Will go to bathroom to avoid being called on.
5:10 back from bathroom. excellent timing as stupid exercise is finished. But also: why did that only take four minutes???
5:12 left side of room laughing hysterically. don't know why. dislike the hyena girls mucho indeed.
5:16 butt asleep. also, back hurts from ugly chair
5:24 another hour. contemplate how slowly time passes II
5:27 think about length of nails. must trim soon!
5:32 starting chapter 6. Boo.
5:33 must remember to post-it flag vocab pages. *sigh* love post-its. (note: still have not flagged pages)
5:35 panic. exam next Tuesday? noooooo!
5:36 all better. exam two weeks from now (note: that makes it this Thursday, which means that panic has now begun to settle in)
5:41 more astonishingly detailed questions from annoying Weird Couple male
5:44 Weird Couple female read "J.K. Rawling" I mean really. It's OOOOO! Rowling!
5:49 contemplate how slowly time passes III
5:50 another question from mr. questionasker. very picky.
5:57 question #4. is actually same exact question as before. Argh.
5:58 thinking about lovely Riesling wine. hmm.
6:03 announcing homework on la pagina dos cientos. could this be the end? ARE WE FINISHING EARLY? MAKE MY DAY!!!
6:04 ha! dreamer.
6:06 another obvious question
6:08 how can we not be done yet? noooo!
6:12 made everyone laugh. not sure why. hate new vocabulary (and old vocab, if you care to know)
6:15 contemplate how slowly time passes IV. 5 more minutes. pleeeeease!
6:16 hehe. eat dogs. wanna leave.
6:18 ha. leaving. LEAVING!!!

TWICE A WEEK I GO THROUGH THIS, PEOPLE. TWICE A WEEK.

Next time in our series "as if you wanted to read about that": a minute-by-minute account of the afterschool intervention homework help program I run. More action than Spanish, but less agony - and all contained in only 60 minutes! Stay tuned!

Girls of Gilmore

2006-04-04T20:11:00.000-07:00

I might liveblog Gilmore Girls. Because I'm lame and I care about TV and the first five minutes were ab.so.lute.ly bottom-kicking.
1. I love Paris. Sure, she's annoying and neurotic and loco, but she gave Logan an EARFUL. Yessssss.
2. RORY. NOOOOOOOOOOO! Why did you have to go back with him? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. But... it feels like there's something else cooking there. Hmmm.

update I:
3. Haha. Talking pig.
4. TV facing the right way.
5. Collection of molecules held together by dirt. Hehehe.

update II:
6. Noooo. Moved back in. Stupid Rory. MISUNDERSTANDING. WHA...?
7. Commercials.

update III:
8. Michelle! Post-its! The System!
9. A German-speaking GPS contraption. Must. Love. It. Evil German Super-computer. Har, har.

update IV:
10. Mrs. Kim. Hehehe. Scary, but cool. She will evaluate the demo tape. Yes Sireee.
11. Ahem. Hiding flowers under a couch cushion? Hmmm.

update V:
12. Gilmored! The Jag is here. Have they been taken? Ha!

update VI:
13. Since mine was a fake contractor, I got to pay him with monopoly money.
14. Commercials

update VII:
15. Why haven't we started talking about how stupid Rory is being? Grrrr.
16. The Amish will be psyched about Luke's underwear. Ha.

update VIII:
17. Commercials AGAIN???
18. Everything in that corner smells like vanilla. Freaky and unplanned.
19. Kirk is a realtor. Kirk has a thing. Kirk... ow.

update IX:
20. Naw. The Sr. Gilmores are looking for a house in Star's Hollow.
21. I'm guessing we'll be hearing about that Pan Am purse.

update X:
22. Live-blogging is exhausting. And nobody is reading it live, so what's the point. Oh, never mind. It's back on.
23. Zack is auditioning for husband. Run in place for a minute, it gets the blood flowing. Different minor chord.
24. Something else... maybe something to ask her?
25. That ring you keep in drawer so it won't scare the children.

update XI:
26. final destination I, II, III
27. Swiss has holes, easy way to identify it
28. ouch. afraid of big luke-lorelai blowup over fancy bag

update XII:
29. so many things wrong here. bag. gifted shopper. anna. huh.
30. can't believe rory is giving lorelai crap about her relationship. HAHAHA!

update XIII:
31. Logan needs to get a clue.

And that's all, folks. I need some sleep as partial insomnia has been my bedfellow. Not as naughty as it sounds.

all your questions about California, answered

2006-04-03T21:57:00.000-07:00

you're welcome

wisdom beyond years

2006-03-30T19:08:00.000-08:00

I had the following conversation with a third-grader a couple of days ago. We were sitting on the wall next to the parking lot, waiting for her chronically late mother to pick her kids up already. I may have been greatly annoyed.

her:"Do you have a boyfriend?"
me: "No."
her (shocked) "What??? You don't have a boyfriend?"
me: (amused): "No, but I'm married.
her: (grabs my left hand, examines wedding ring) "Let me see."
me: ?!?
her:"How old are you?"
me: (annoyed): "Guess."
Much guessing ensued at this point. She guessed too young first, which means that she is still alive and I am not in jail. Finally...
her:"26!"
me: "Yes! Finally!"
her:"Are you planning to have kids?"
me:(beyond annoyed) "Yes."
her:"You should have your kids in your twenties."
me: (a little afraid of the answer, but asking anyways) "Why?"
her:"Because during your twenties, the babyweight comes right off. In your thirties? not so much."

a weekend (and Monday) in bullets

2006-03-28T07:18:00.000-08:00

I'm in a hurry, so here you have it:
* Friday: movie night. Joe vs. the Volcano, which is an awesome movie. If you haven't seen it, see it now. It's one of the Tom-Hanks-Meg-Ryan combos, so don't miss it.
* Saturday: Picked up our NEW CAR. It's shiny and it smells good. More details and pictures will follow, as well as an account of the crazed car dealer from Las Vegas.
* also Saturday: Swingdancing for Sarah's birthday. Beautiful new golden strappy sandals made me dance barefoot pretty soon, but looked pretty, so no matter. Am still healing blisters on the feet though.
* Sunday: Lunch with the just-returned-from-Iraq military cousin, and much drooling over our NEW CAR.
* also Sunday: Shopping at Target and parking of the NEW CAR far away from the store entrance, so that nobody would want to park next to it and ding it when opening their doors.
* Monday: D.'s first day at NEW JOB! Goodbye you old job suckas!
* also Monday: reformatting of the hard drive. Loads of fun. Reloading and installing of all the software, and downloading of Mozilla. Bonus: Was able to back up all data!
*also Monday: Took NEW CAR to work and parked curbside. Yes. I forego my regular parking spot for fear of a door ding. Shut up. I'd cry if you made a ding in my NEW CAR. For real.

*Tuesday: Must dash off to work now.

getting excited now

2006-03-24T16:22:00.000-08:00

I have this thing for story time. I just love the kind of quiet, attentive, relaxed atmosphere in a classroom when I read a story. Love. It.
I also have this think for Kevin Henkes. Especially his mouse stories are just so deliciously wonderful. The stories are creative and sweet and perhaps make me tear up just a tiny bit sometimes.
AND NOW. Kevin has written a new book. With one of my favorite mouse characters - Lilly. Lilly has a purple plastic purse that plays music when you open it, and she always has a disguise in her back pocket (just in case). She wears red cowboy boots with stars on them, and she is just plain cool. And in this newest book, Lilly's super-great-cool-neat teacher, Mr. Slinger, is getting married. Mr. Slinger, BTW, is the kind of teacher I want to be when I get a job. He's great.
All this is peachy. The only thing that sucks is that I now have to wait all the way until APRIL FIRST until it gets published. And then for amazon to ship it.
That's, like, ten days or something. *sigh*

job fair wrap-up

2006-03-22T21:45:00.000-08:00

The job fair, it was interesting. I was there for 2 hours and spoke to principals and/or teachers from 7 schools. The talking took approximately 40 minutes. The rest of the time I stood in line, sipped water, and studied the flash cards I had written about the schools and hidden in my pretty purse. They said things like "accountability & metacognition" and "joy and rigor in learning with climate of resepct" and "Readers are Leaders program." These things were taken directly from the schools' websites and actually proved useful. Nothing like being able to show off that you know something un-obvious about a school. And my outfit was one of the nicer ones in the room, but not at all overdressed. And my purse was the prettiest of all the purses. Esp. the jute one with the kiddie faces painted on it. So teacher-esque - phew!
Highlights:
1) One principal interrupted me while I was speaking with her with "It was nice to meet you." Then she kinda smiled and added "I have a lot to get to," guesturing at the waiting line. Uh-uh. Whatever.
2) Another principal (a guy) touched my elbow when we were greeting each other, and I tought he was trying to hug me. WHAT??! Actually, he was just trying to move by me to invite two more girls to our group. Embarrassing? Perhaps. Also funny.
3) Everybody was standing in line, waiting (more or less) patiently. Except for one person: There was a group of four of us talking to a principal (the huggy one), when this woman walked up to us and joined the group. WITHOUT standing in line. The principal was kinda cool about it and told her that if she wanted to hear him talk about his school (since she had missed that part), "I guess you need to stand in line."
4) There are 500 applicants for each opening in this district.
5) D. has this week off from work and came with me. We had yummy Indian food for dinner and then took a walk through the quaint little downtown eating some wonderful ice cream.

So much for the job fair. All in all not a bad experience. Not that I really expect a job out of it...

spills

2006-03-22T12:41:00.000-08:00

Today is the day. The job fair is this afternoon.
So far, I've spilled liquid soap on my shirt (school shirt, not job fair shirt) and somehow got yellow marker stains in my hair. Yes, my HAIR.
This should be interesting...

Tom Hanks nightmare

2006-03-21T18:53:00.000-08:00

Early this morning, I had a very vivid nightmare. First, I was visiting my old cooperating teacher and the class. She then took me to her house for lunch (we just left the kids at school - we care). Her house turned out to be a large cafeteria (???) around the corner from the school. We sat at a table with Tom Hanks, and my teacher got me a plastic grocery bag full of ice cubes for lunch. Um, thanks?
After a while, I decided to leave with Tom Hanks, because he needed to go to the airport. It was a bit of a scramble because we were on foot and there were all these roadblocks, but we eventually made it. As soon as we walked up to the counter, the airline people made faces and it became apparent that Tom Hanks had done major mischief every single time he had ever been at the airport or flown with that (and any other) airline. So obviously, we ran away and hid with a medium-large group of other people in an underground shelter. There were large quantities of food in this shelter, and there was a kitchen with a back door and a stairway in the front that lead back up to the street. Some sort of natural disaster happened, but we were quite comfy in the shelter. But then! An earthquake! Tom and I went up the stairs and into the town square, but people were after us, so we ended up running away frantically and eventually, back into the underground shelter. The mood in there had shifted, though, and I was trying to find a way to leave. I went stealthily into the kitchen and opened the back door. Remember that natural disaster I was talking about? Well, it had caused the ocean to overflow and then freeze solid (?), so outside the kitchen door was ice (from top to bottom of the door): no way to get out.
I woke up instead.
Now. I've had freaky dreams before, but you know how some dreams are hard to shake? It's been over 12 hours, and this crap is still fresh in my mind. It's almost time to go to sleep. Let's hope it's not a series!

self-absorption at a new high

2006-03-20T20:20:00.000-08:00

I might be a little bit in love with cafe press. And perhaps myself.

Now please do me a favor and scroll down to read an awesomely funny post about home "improvement," local wildlife, and a major freak-out - in short, my life in general. And comment, for crying out loud! I live for the comments! I answer the comments! I start smiling like a looniebird when I read the comments! (Do birds smile? How does that work with their beaks?) Anyways. Go forth, read, and comment.

Home Improvement, except not so much -or- how I am reduced to shivers and trembles over ferocious animals (or perhaps reptiles and insects)

2006-03-16T20:43:00.000-08:00

*warning: long post ahead*
We decided to remodel our bathroom. And by remodel, I mean new paint, new hardware, perhaps a new mirror. For this humble project, I have made 4 (four) trips to the hardware store to date BEFORE EVEN EVER GETTING STARTED. I was doing research. Behold:

paint chip research and subtle messages to help D. decide which color would be the easiest for him to like

We agreed on the paint color and I subsequently went to the hardware store to purchase the paint. I left the paint chip at home and was too lazy to go back, which made me spend 12 bucks on the wrong paint. This is okay though, since we decided to change our minds and use a lovely non-green color we already have in the garage. Which means that it's freeeeeee! And also, Behr paint and not sucky Lowe's paint.*

I also bought about 200 dollars worth of drop cloths, bathroom lamp shades, and other assorted painting-related and bathroom-fixture-related crap. It was exciting, even though I know that painting a bathroom is a stupid job that takes forever and is full of little corners and nitches and hard-to-reach-places-oops-nose-next-to-toilet-bowl kind of moments. But I had my eyes set on the pretty shiny new-seeming bathroom, so I was totally okay with it.
Today, I finally stopped putting doing the actual work off and got started. The plan was to:
1) take everything down
2) fill the various drill holes
3) re-texture the wall with texture-in-a-can so that all those patched patches wouldn't make the new shiny pretty bathroom look so, well, patchy
4) prime
5) paint
6) put new towel bars etc. up
7) rejoice

I did: 1). Then I noticed that where I had taped (and then removed) the paint chips, the paint had come off with the tape, and was now coming off the wall voluntarily in big pieces. The lets-get-this-over-with Sonja voted for painting over it, but the diligent, I-want-perfection Sonja was quiiiiite adamant about removing the paint. She is usually right, so we, ahem, I went to work:

note ickiness of paint in background
also note happy expectancy of perfect bathroom on naive little face *sigh*
also note that hair is getting longer, which totally works with my current goal of letting it grow out

If you have ever scraped paint off anything, you know what kind of a stupid-type work it is. I spent the next hour + scraping, removing chipped paint from facial cavities, massaging cramping arms and hands, eating exorbitant amounts of girl scout cookies, and trying not to curse. WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS BATHR... oh right. Never mind.
I finally got the one wall done and decided that this was quite enough. So... on to filling the holes!
The filly stuff was in the garage, so out I went.

Now let's back up for a second so I can share a discovery I made this week:

a reptile has moved into my garage. Let it be known that he is large and lives on the inside rafters of my garage door. I was thrilled to find him, because, seriously, how cool is that??? Who has a wild lizard living in their garage, catching dangerous spiders and stupid annoying crickets and disgusting waterbugs (or even, if need be, cockroaches)??? HUH? Sure, I realized that he might fall on me upon opening the door, but I figured I could be careful.

When I went to the garage today, it was dark. Hmm. And I had to reach in after opening the door, so I could turn on the light in there. Hmmmmm.** The opening of the door prooved uneventful. TLWLIMG was probably out hunting. The potential presence of wildlife such as this
huge moth - probably the size of my fist
started to freak me out a little. And to make matters worse, I couldn't find the stupid stuff I was looking for. When I did find it, it was under two power tools and a long extension cord. To get to it, I had to move this stack of three really big flowerpots. A licking sound made me shiver. There was WATER in the top POT! How the heck did that happen? Crap! Is there a leak in the roof? UGH, the roof looks scary.*** Significantly freaked out, I shivered again, then gritted my teeth and moved the power tools. Then I said to the box of fill-the-holes-in-the-wall stuff "I'm taking you inside! If you're alive, get out of the box now!" I carefully picked it up and took it to the door step. I told it "Last chance to leave!!!" and then went to - carefully lest we disturb TLWLIMG - close the garage door. Now I felt better. I took the box of goop inside, set it down on the bathroom floor, and rubbed my hands together in glee. I had done it! I was in the dark garage, I found what I needed, I only freaked out just a little bit, and I will probably stop twitching nervously soon! Success! Triumph!
Then I opened the box and something big and brown craweld out of it and INTO MY BATHROOM. I may have said a bad word, before running off to get ther RAID KILLS ROACHES POWERFULLY spray from under the kitchen sink. Only I had thought it'd be a good idea to store dangerous toxins like that in the garage. And there was SO no way I'd be going back there. So I grabbed the homemade ant spray that I am starting to believe the ants actually laugh about as a sort of running joke, that's how well it works. The evil roach - A ROACH IN MY HOUSE, OH THE EVIL AND THE SHIVERING AS I WRITE THIS - had crawled into a corner by the cabinet and was THANK HEAVENS AND ALL THAT IS HOLY still there when I returned. When I started spraying it, it started to run around frantically, and I may have yelled "NO, NO, NO!" at it a few times. I kept my finger on the trigger though, and I triumphed over the evil that was the roach that tried to invade my house and lay eggs and hatch baby roaches all over the place.

Must. Stop. Picturing. Tons. Of. Roaches. INSIDE. HOUSE.

Now I am waiting for D. to get home (night class), so he can remove the dead evil roach and I can perhaps brush my teeth and go potty and go to bed already.

I have to say (for the record) that I can deal with lots of creepy crawliness pretty well. I can remove a cricket from the classroom with 16 6-year-olds watching - I turn into macho teacher. I can remove a spider or a moth from a room full of people who are sort of uncomfortable around them - I turn into macho friend. But when I'm home alone and there is a ROACH, A COCKROACH, A CUCARACHA inside my house and inside the room where I get naked and vulnerable, I JUST HAVE TO FREAK OUT A LITTLE.

Especially after I told that thing to get out of the box when there was still plenty of time.

Now please excuse me while I go faint.

*Lowe's paint is not "sucky" per se, but Behr paint must be better because they sell it at the REAL hardware store (ie Home Depot) and because it's more expensive and because I said so.
** No lizards will fall on my head in this post. Sorry to disappoint. If it ever does happen, I promise to write a raw, emotional report on it right here, so you can laugh your head off. I'm friendly and starved for attention that way.
*** The garage roof really does not look scary. But I really thought it did.

my life in pictures

2006-03-16T15:23:00.000-08:00

I'm going through the 4 boxes of photos and memorabilia I've amassed over the last few years. I'm wildly determined to put together albums and scrapbooks, thereby ridding myself of the boxes and making the pictures and memories available for easy access.

These are some pictures I looked at today:
1) High school graduation in 1999 - I can't remember some of these people's names. What does that mean? I'm guessing they just weren't that important to me.
2) Me and my boyfriend at the graduation dance.
3) wedding dress
4) wedding shoes

This was the exact order the pictures were in. And I'd like to point out that I did NOT marry the boyfriend in the picture (better for all concerned, I'm sure). My life is insane and crazy. Just the way I like it...

and the winner is...

2006-03-15T23:13:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all of your input. The white shoes are a splurge, but hey, What.Ever. Now all I have to do is
1) research the school district and prepare goooooood, insightful questions to ask them
2) update my resume with my new job and all the good stuff I've been doing
3) watch what I eat for good skin
4) buy a white purse to match those shoes (vote: Target or Coach -- just kidding)
5) get directions
6) get a sleek folder for the resume and letters of recommendation
7) get some sleep

I want you...

2006-03-14T18:20:00.000-08:00

... to help me decide what to wear.

Next Wednesday, I'm going to a job fair. It's not my first, but the first one I actually care about, so this is important. I have the bestest skirt suit ever, courtesy of Europe and my parents and Christmas. It is tricky, however, to find shoes and a top that will look great when worn with it simultaneously. Today, I went to Ann Taylor and bought shoes that cost me three days worth of my meager salary. So I need two questions answered:
1) Which combo would you wear to a job fair?
2) Would you (if your answer to #1 excludes the expensive white shoes) keep the white shoes or return them? I can't tell, because though I pretty much hated them when I paid for them, I love them ever since I saw them with the pinstripe pants.

See the contestants here, then cast your vote in the comments section here or on flickr.
I might just be eternally grateful.

momrons

2006-03-12T20:50:00.000-08:00

PTA moms give me the heebie jeebies. Of course, not all of them are idiots, but the ones who are really stand out.

1. I rush in to copy something for my class, when there are about 4 moms getting ready to make copies and yapping. I politely ask if I could cut in so that I can get back to my kids (without pointing out the sign over the copier that says that PTAers are to let teachers cut in so they can get their copies done in what little time they have). The mom tells me that as soon as it finishes her copies that are in progress, I can go ahead. Very nice! Then, when she's done and I go to the machine (thanking her again), another mom says "Why do you always let people ahead?," her intonation making it clear that that's a baaaaad thing. Bad girls finish first! Being nice isn't something valuable! Stupid of you to be kind! Bah bah!
Not really a huge deal, but still enough to make me cringe every time I see her. That's the kind of attitude that makes community and friendship impossible to attain. And she's in an organization that is supposed to help teachers and children? Ha!

2. I walk into the work room to cut some paper. Two moms (different moms - different school, too!) are copying and yapping. I greet them, and one of them answers: "Oh! Are you a student or a teacher?" Yahhh, the school goes up to 5th grade. Do I look like I'm eleven??? Then she tries to make it look like a compliment by saying: "You look so young!" Which makes it even worse.

3. In other school news: I "pimped" my classroom:

I put up the ABC, made the agenda and the spelling sign and put up the graph so we can sort our spelling words according to patterns. I feel like I've moved in...

My fridge at 9pm, when the rest of the kitchen was finally clean

2006-03-09T22:57:00.000-08:00

or
Why you should wear shoes in the kitchen
or
The lie of "shatterproof glass" - exposed!
or
Why my hands are covered in band-aids*
or
So, what did you do tonight?
or
bleep!

*They're really not. I'm exaggerating for effect.

2006-03-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

beach day - sun sneezes, cold water, wet pants legs, swinging as high as the swings will go

a week in the life of...

2006-03-06T13:05:00.000-08:00

There are about five posts I didn't get to write this past week, because D. needed the computer, because I was pretty busy, and because I had to watch Elizabethtown approximately once a day, and perhaps twice on the weekend.

On Tuesday, I would have written about J.Crew. J.Crew is my ex-favorite store, and on Tuesday, I got their catalog. As I flipped through the pages and saw how awkward and uncomfortable the models looked in their overpriced clothes, I hatched a plan. I wanted to post those pictures and write snarky captions for them. This post, it was going to be so good. Unfortunately, J.Crew doesn't have the same pictures on their website, so I resorted to scribbling my catty remarks in sharpie on the catalog pictures. I may or may not have forced D. to read through it. I might even have taken it to work to show one of the girls I work with. Maybe!!!
J.Crew and I are officially broken up, and that's all you ever need know. And that they need a new photographer and/or catalog picture chooser (whatever the technical term may be).

On Wednesday, I would have written about lent, and how I am giving up watching TV, though NOT watching DVDs and videos. This is largely due to the recent daytime TV pigout that's been happening. I also know that I won't be able to just turn the thaing off once it's on, so it'll stay off until Easter. You might or might not hear how I'm doing with that. So far, so good. But Tuesday night will be hard (Gilmore Girls), as will March 16th and every Monday night after that (Everwood). Emails with summaries will be appreciated.
Wednesday night, I went to rent Pride and Prejudice, which of course they were out of, so I ended up with Elizabethtown. NEVER EVER have I gotten my money's worth out of a rental like this time. I watched it Wednesday night and loved it, so I watched it again Thursday night. With nothing else to do and a husband away at a work thing, I watched it again Friday night. On Saturday, watching it again seemed like a good idea, and on Sunday, I watched it while folding some laundry. And then there was the time that I watched half of it again when I couldn't sleep... I love this movie! I had to return it today, so I ordered it on amazon (7.99, people... Borders was still selling it for 29.99 - HA!). And then I may have ordered "better together" two soundtracks for this movie (there are 3 CDs with music from that movie... sigh).

On Thursday, I may have written about my absolutely mindblowingly boring Spanish class. We have a test on Tuesday, so we did a review. We spent about 40 minutes copying "fill-in-the-blanks" she wrote on the board. My life, people, it was flashing before my eyes.

On Friday, I may have written about how totally ok it is for a twenty-something to go to sleep on the couch (watching a certain movie) before 9:30 pm. I've had a heck of a week trying to catch up on my life that just kept on keeping on while I was sick.

On Saturday, I might have written about how incredibly obnoxious the clerks at a certain large chain bookstore were. They were sarcastic in a scary way, pushy* about their stupid Borders Club**, and wore sunglasses indoors.

On Sunday, I may have posted sunflower pictures I took. I might still do that today.

* pushy = would't take no for an answer, in fact: wouldn't even acknowledge no as a legitimate word in the English language
** I'm not saying that this was or was not the major bookstore in which the clerks were jerks (haha, that rhymes).

yum yum

2006-03-05T21:39:00.000-08:00

Life has been eating me up alive, figuratively speaking. Updates are upcoming, and so are some exciting changes to brainxplosion. Stay tuned!

this morning by the numbers

2006-02-27T13:01:00.000-08:00

4: number of times I hit snooze this morning
2: number of pimples in my nose (one per nostril)
7: number of outfits I tried on
30: number of minutes it took me to get dressed (argh!)
3: number of creases running straight down my pantsleg
1: approved number of creases in pantsleg
eleventy billion: number of times I wished Jennifer was here to cut my hair real quick (or style it, or help me pick a hat)
13: number of times I considered calling in sick because of my fashion and hair emergencies
1: number of times I started panicking because I just saw how late it was
10: number of minutes I was early for work (so much for panicking)
7: number of insipid radio stations I listened to on my way to work
0: number of infected sinuses - hehehe
1: number of suddenly sore again throats
1: number of thermoses full of tea I'm drinking
32: estimated number of dreams for a bathroom makeover, all hatched at the hardware store after work
eleventy hundred :estimated number of dollars bathroom makeover might cost *sigh*
0: estimated number of dollars budgeted for bathroom makeover
1: number of phonecalls from a random Spanish-speaking guy who asked if I needed somebody to do work for me
1: number of phonecalls from guys cold-calling to ask for work needed to put bathroom makeover into perspective

bullet-pointy update

2006-02-26T20:48:00.000-08:00

Too lazy to write an actual post? Bullet points to the rescue!

* I declared myself cured of The Cold From Hell and went back to work on Friday. I kept the coughing at a minimum and even though it was work, it was good to be back. Now I have to come to terms with the fact that I have to actually go back to work again tomorrow. Hmpf.

* Yesterday, I slept in (and I never sleep in). I was up for a little while, then I went back to bed to read. The material (The Hobbit, the "enchanting prelude to The Lord of the Rings" as the cover of the book claims) was boring enough to put me back to sleep for two hours. Ahhhh.

* I randomly remembered this one guy I met this one time. Let me tell you that story. When I was 19, I (and a highly qualified team) went on a two-week vacation with a group of 11-13 year old girls. We stayed on a ranch somewhere in the East of Germany, close to the border to the Czech Republic (this is code for the middle of nowhere). Quite against my expectations, girls kept falling off horses left and right (and down), so we spent quite a bit of time at the local emergency room. One day, one of the adults fell off her horse and was (and stayed) unconsicous. She was taken to the next bigger hospital in an ambulance and I was chosen to accompany her. I spent about an hour shotgun with this old MT with an impressive grey beard. Hint: This is the guy I was talking about in the beginning of this bullet point. Take heart, the story is almost over. It took a while (I was nervous/worried), but I finally noticed that his beard was tucked into his shirt. And, more importantly, there was a little tuft of hair (beard hair, no less) peeking out from under his shirt (does this still qualify as facial hair?). So I got him to pull out his beard so I could see it in all its glory, and it was really impressive. At Christmastime, he goes around the orphanages playing Santa. If he was going for sainthood, he'd totally have my vote.
BTW, the faller-off-the-horse was fine.

* The Olympic closing ceremonies are on TV. YMCA, people? Kinda cool, actually.

* We watched The Incredibles last night. Very good. HOWever: When Dash is called to the office, and his mom meets him there, you will notice that the baby is NOT in the office. On the way home, the baby is in the car. Hmmmm. Leaving your baby in the car: incredible, but NOT super.

* That's all, folks.

I wish I was making this up

2006-02-24T22:38:00.000-08:00

I was late-evening web-browsing and happened upon this article on lactose intolerance. I was only looking for cooking tips, since my dad is lactose-intolerant and ALSO COMING TO VISIT YAY. I quickly realized that this article wasn't going to help me, but the last paragraph caught my eye:

If you're severely lactose intolerant (which is quite rare) and must avoid dairy products altogether, be sure to incorporate calcium-rich foods in your diet, such as calcium-fortified orange juice or milk, tofu, almonds and green vegetables. "It's not easy for the body to absorb calcium from these sources, however," cautions Gerbstadt, so eat as much of them as you can.

I added the emphasis for your convenience.
And now, go replace the milk in your diet with milk.

Maxillary Sinusitis

2006-02-23T15:15:00.000-08:00

It all makes sense now! My fickle cold has turned into a sinus infection, more specifically, maxillary sinusitis on the left*. I diagnosed it with the help of the sudden, very localized pain in my face and with that of my BFF, webmd. Things I found out on the internet that made me go OH!:
1. Maxillary Sinusitis can make your teeth ache (upper teeth esp.). REMEMBER how I said that my gums were itchy? The itch morphed into irritated gums in my upper left (!) jaw. OH!
2. Often, sinusitis comes after days of cold symptoms. OH!
3. Make sure your sinusitis heales completely, or it might become CHRONICAL. OH CRAP!

[Aside: Did you know worms are the only disease-free organisms on earth? TV is not dumbing me down. ER reruns are a good thing. Oh, if only I could be a disease-free worm...]

Anyhoo. So there I was, with a sudden pain. The internet, which is usually brilliant, was completely silent as to what to do, and 3. (see above) freaked me out a bit. I saw a diagram of the sinuses on the internet and decided that it would help to hang upside down. I WAS SO RIGHT! Some of the pain and pressure were relieved. Then, I went to the drugstore to get a superhero decongestant.
And right next to the decongestants, I saw IT.

Yup. You squirt saline solution up one nostril until it drips out of the other one. This is pretty gross and a bit uncomfortable, but really not at all as icky as it sounds. It can even be hilarious: Sometimes, when you finish squirting and look down into the sink, you will see little printed letters. And you will freak out a little, because it looks like the letters came out of your nose! And then you will notice that that's impossible and your mind will jump to the next conclusion, which is that you pumped little letters into your nose and now you might have leftover letters in your nose and OH MY no wonder your sinuses are infected! This will continue until you realize that the little letters came off the outside of the bottle and that there is no way they could've gotten into the bottle.

Note the missing letters on the squirty bottle.

And now I have a little date with George Clooney. Goodbye.

*For our international readers: Nebenhoehlenvereiterung.

Orange County is on TV tonight

2006-02-22T20:30:00.000-08:00

This may be a movie only SoCalys can laugh about, but it just hits home. Especially if you've been a live-in nanny before. Hereby highly recommended.
English class:
"Romeo and Juliet - who does that make you think of?"
"Claire Danes?"
"Good, who else?"
"Leonardo DiCaprio"
Hehehehe.

And any movie that has Jack Black in it? Just watch it and enjoy the INSANITY!

deeply reflective and all that

2006-02-22T17:43:00.000-08:00

Why don't you click on this link and ruthlessly judge my personality?
Just a girl is doing this, so I figured I'd jump on her bandwagon.

Self Portrait Tuesday 3 - calling the bluff

2006-02-21T08:21:00.000-08:00

This is my last SPT. I've realized that I signed up for SPT for all the wrong reasons. I was looking for a way to keep this site going and interesting at the same time. Truth is, I'm just not ready for the kind of public self-reflection that is needed to make SPT meaningful. I know that's a weird thing to say on a blog, which is supposed to be a public personal journal. I'm not a journaler. I don't write my deepest & darkest stuff down on a daily basis (which doesn't mean I don't confront it/think about it/discuss it with others). My blog is space for me to finish my sentences without being interrupted by people with different opinions*. I don't have a problem with self-reflection, but the format of HAVING TO do it every Tuesday is too rigid for me. The themes rub me the wrong way for the same reason. There are some things that will never be discussed on this website, and that's that.
So... we'll have self-reflection, and we'll have pictures, but it won't be on a regular basis, because I'm not a friend of too much discipline.
The end.

PS: Now look who just got all self-reflective on a Tuesday with a picture!

*This is not a poorly masked criticism of my husband.

WHINE

2006-02-18T16:29:00.000-08:00

Cold. Evil, very evil. Sonja? Whiny, so whiny. And frustrated. I feel like crap over here!!! The Cold from Hell moves in waves.
Sunday - sick
Monday - well enough to go to work
Tuesday - near death
Wednesday - pretty good, feeling like going back to work on Thursday
Thursday - almost as bad as Tuesday
Friday - okay but weak, so weak
Saturday - optimistic but weak, so weak
Sunday - pissed off about being sick STILL AFTER A WEEK ON THE COUCH, DAGNABIT!

home remedies I tried:
1) Soak towel in cold water, wrap around feverish calves, wrap dry towel around it, let wet towel soak fever out of body. Especially fun at 1 am when freaking out over a fever that wasn't that high which I would've found out had I bothered to convert the silly Fahrenheit degrees into a sensible measurement, like Celsius.

2) Chew gum to make sore throat bearable. Successful? Doubtful!

3) Boil some water in a pot, then sit with a blanket (or towel) over your head and inhale the steam. Add chamomille or eucalyptus oil to the water. Repeat as needed. This really helped - basically a supercharged humdifier.

Assorted complaints:
1. Cough. Oh the cough. To the point of gagging. Argh.
2. Soreness of the throat, and pain - PAIN - when I swallowed. This lasted for 6 days and lozenges did NOT HELP. In the least.
3. Nasal congestion. Especially fun when your throat is sore because breathing through your mouth is just the thing for that. Makes the throat nice and leathery.
4. Skin under nose/over lips has this angry red tint and dry flakes, which makes blowing the nose so much more thrilling.
4. My gums are itching. Web MD is completely silent on this topic. HELP!
5. Newest addition to the symptom family: eye infection. Might be pinkeye.

I might go to a kick-butt urgent care tomorrow. Last time I went to one, I ended up taking steroid pills for an eye infection.

Clearly, my life is over. It was nice knowing all of you. Goodbye.

PS: I was going to add a picture, but I look disgusting and sick, and the internet is moody and can't be bothered to help me find a picture that fits, so no picture, people. Sorry.

grocery reflections

2006-02-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

This morning, I got to leave the house! For the first time in almost a week! I was excited! And also exhausted from getting ready (which involved putting a beanie over my bed head)! D. and I went to the grocery stores, which is a neverending delight, especially on Saturdays.
I have several lingering questions.

1.) Why do things such as cranberries with orange flavor and cranberries with cherry flavor exist? I've accidentally tasted an orange-flavored cranberry before and it was nasty. Very nasty. It falls under the category of fruit cruelty and should be outalwed. If you want a dried ruit that tastes like cherry? Eat a DRIED CHERRY. It's not rocket science, you know?!

2.) Why does the majority of pasta sauces have sugar in them? Sweetened tomato sauce, much like orange-flavored cranberries, is nasty (and not just a little nasty). At the very least, offer the same sauce with and without. And Paul Newman, I'm especially dissappointed with you. Baaaaad gourmet actor.

3.) An open letter to grocery baggers far and wide:
What do you get when you load 5 cans of refried beans and two glass jars of jelly into one flimsy plastic bag? Any takers? Let it marinate and think about this: What happens when you practically throw above mentioned bag (coz you gotta kinda throw it coz it's like, all heavy and stuff) on top of the bananas? Need to think about that one, too?
All I gotta say is this: Grocery stores need to hire people for baggers who have at least 6 months experience. Not in grocery bagging, in grocery shopping.

Bitter? Me? Why do you ask?

2006-02-17T14:04:00.000-08:00

(click to enlarge)

This is my smart, cool, beautiful friend Marion her and husband Mike, who is perfect for her. They got married last summer, and I just found a CD with gobs and gobs of pictures of the event.
These are good people, and I miss them.

updates

2006-02-16T18:13:00.000-08:00

I updated my list of "things about me" (see sidebar) and finally uploaded some more pictures onto flickr. You're welcome.

you need to do something about your nasal congestion when...

2006-02-16T15:16:00.000-08:00

...you put mentholated ointment under your nose and you CANNOT smell it. At all.

The good news is that that was yesterday, and today is much better. I still feel pretty crappy, but well enough to sit on the couch, drink tea, and watch ER reruns and other high quality daytime TV.
Since little is going on in my life, I shall entertain you with ideas I've had for posts that never made it.

1. I noticed that the boys in my Spanish class usually show up with no supplies whatsoever. What in the world? Do they not take notes? Or do they carry notepaper folded up in the back pockets of their baggy lowrider-look-at-my-underwear jeans?*
I have to admit that I am an enabler - I let people share my book. I'm nice that way.

2. I overheard a conversation between two girls at the college bookstore. It's been a while, so I don't remember all of the details, but it involved a lot of talk about using the jacuzzi to store a vast number of kegs and how much fun that party would be. You know, when her parents, like, go out of town and stuff?

3. The return policy for said college bookstore includes a paragraph about shrinkwrapped items and the fact that once the shrinkwrap is opened, they are non-returnable. There are no exceptions and "Saran wrap is unacceptable." Hehehe.

**********UPDATED TO ADD**********

4. Why, why, why, I ask you, doesn't the bleach bottle have a pouring spout? WHY IN THE WORLD DOESN'T IT? Oh, I know. Let's not be too convenient, shall we?! And no, I didn't just splash bleach onto my favorite sweater. But for a moment, I thought I did.

*What is it, BTW, with boys wearing their belts over both their belt loops AND their boxers that are sticking out of their pants. Is it so hard to understand that if it's called underwear, it should be WORN UNDER clothing???
Crap. I'm old. Someone help me - I have a quarter-life crisis.

Best in Show

2006-02-15T06:45:00.000-08:00

Rufus won!
He wasn't my first choice though - I'm all for hot dogs.

Anyhoo. All the talk about this super dog show reminds me of one of the best movies on the planet: Best in Show.

It's (almost) as quotable as The Princess Bride.
"Get the busy bee! She is freaking out!!!"
"I have two left feet. They used to call me Loopy."
"We could talk or not talk for hours and still find things not to talk about."
"What are you, some kind of wizard? You stupid hotel manager!"
"Bratwurst and Shelele! Paging Dr. Freud."
"Pine Nut - which is a nut, but it's also the name of the town."

misery and irony, living in perfect harmony

2006-02-14T17:00:00.000-08:00

I'm sick and miserable. I don't think I've been this sick in years.
And guess what I had to do. Just guess.
No, that's not it.
I had to go to my neighbors' house to borrow a plunger for my overflowing toilet. We are a really, uh, close-knit community.
Happy Valentine's Day, people.

Happy Anniversary

2006-02-14T10:02:00.000-08:00

Today is my blog anniversary. This was my first post, and it's as true now as it was a year ago. Except for that bit about the gym, because I don't go there anymore. Enjoy!

Monday, February 14, 2005
Hallmark Holiday

So... it's one of those days. We buy candy and overpriced flowers and go on dates to crowded, expensive restaurants and give stuffed animals (that aren't even that cute) to mature adults. And why? Because the calendar says it's corporately sponsored romance day. Can you feel the love?

I went to the gym tonight, and it was great. No problems with parking...

I'd love to write a deeply reflective post about all the things that have changed over the past year, but working with kids makes you vulnerable, so I am currently battling The Cold From Hell with all the fun, feverish excitement this implies.

The Princess Bride

2006-02-11T12:26:00.000-08:00

I'm finding that The Princess Bride is extremely versatile in its quotability. Here are some of my favorite quotes:
"Life is pain, your highness. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something."
"Only a few more steps, and we'll be safe in the fireswamp!"
"Have you heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons!"
"I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."
"Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line!"
"Unless I am wrong, and I am never wrong."
"You are very good"-"I've worked hard to become so."
"Truly, you have a dizzying intellect."
"If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything."
"And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest."
"Have fun storming the castle!"
"As you wish."

If you have not seen this movie, it's about time.

New J.O.B.

2006-02-09T21:59:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted about this much, but it's been over a month since I graduated with my credential, and I spent some of that time in agony over being unable to find a teaching job. Finally, a friend suggested I apply as an instructional aide. Initially, I was less than thrilled because I WANNA BE THE TEACHER, but then the idea started to make sense - a lot of sense. I applied in the morning, got a call just a few hours later, and went to an interview two days after. The day after the interview they called to offer me a job and I was skippy and happy and joyful.
This Monday was my first day. I have two struggling third-graders basically to myself. They come in from 8-11:15, and during that time, I do language arts and math with them. Then I try and squeeze in 15 minutes in a classroom with two girls who "need help with math," which is pretty pointless because 15 minutes is nothing. I'm done at 11:30, which is awesome because I don't have to pack a lunch. And let me tell you what I hate: packing lunches.
Starting next Monday, I will be doing after school Homework Club twice a week for an hour each time. Which is sweet because it pays reeeeeally well (at least compared to my other job).
I also get two things I never got for any other job before EVER:
1. paid holidays (though not during my 6-month probationary period - grrrrr)
2. an assigned parking spot (which rocks because it is IN THE SHADE)
So I'm happy and skippy and joyful, because I like this job. Lots.

Self-Portrait Tuesday 2

2006-02-07T12:20:00.000-08:00

The theme for January was "personal history." Last Tuesday was actually still in January, so I should've used January's theme. Since I skipped ahead last week, I'll skip backwards (??) this week and give you:

Five-year-old Sonja holding zero-year-old baby sister.

foggy day at the beach

2006-02-06T20:39:00.000-08:00

I was writing deeply felt reflections about the fog, but my thoughts refused to be committed to paper (or rather, website), so let me just say this: I love the fog. I like that things look strange and different while remaining familar at the same time. I always feel some suspense, as though something is about to happen. At the same time, I feel mysteriously comforted with a certainty that I am safe and nothing can happen to me.

good reading

2006-02-06T13:05:00.000-08:00

Here's a great post from my friend Grace.

word cloud

2006-02-05T12:18:00.000-08:00

get your own at snapshirts

famous by association

2006-02-02T20:51:00.000-08:00

I declare myself famous. (Andy Warhol said I'd get my 15 minutes sometime.)
The very person who cuts my hair is going to be in TV here in 10 minutes. She is giving a geek a makeover on Beauty and the Geek 2 fromthedaringmindofashtonkutcherblahblahcommercialmakesmewanttovomit. She will be waxing a hairy chest.
Better get my popcorn started...

like a teardrop in your palm

2006-02-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

Things that have made me cry lately:
1) Movies - I cried at the end of 50 First Dates. I sniffled during Last Holiday (which was excellently warm & fuzzy).
2) crap on TV
2a) COMMERCIALS! Seriously - what's wrong with me??? There is this one commercial for the California Lottery. Two girls wake up, run to the window to look out, get very excited, race into their parents' bedroom yelling "You were right, you were right!" Then they run outside, where the yard is covered in snow. The camera pans, and we see that there is a huge snowblower-thingy that covered only their house in snow. The street sign says "City of San Diego" Then we zoom in on the parents standing in the doorway. She asks him "Are you going to do this every day?" He answers "Maybe," and I sob (a little).
2b) Little kids and dogs. I don't know why. WHY???
3) Internet stuff. Birth stories like Amalah's.

Now what is this? Hormones? The dreaded, highly overrated biological clock? Some female gene that suddenly decided to kick in?
What happened to me?

(12) things about me

2006-02-02T20:14:00.000-08:00

1. I don't like getting in the shower when the tub is already wet.
2. I have a personalized license plate.
3. I like reading others' blogs more than I like to update my own.
4. I have a love/hate relationship with reality TV.
5. I wish I could be more put together.

6. I get frustrated with my body for not being healthy when I'm sick.
7. I laugh about my own jokes. Often enough, I'm the only one laughing.
8. I'm addicted to Su Doku.
9. I hate making sandwiches. Hate it. So much.
10. I have a love/hate relationship with The Lord of the Rings movies.

11. I'm a stickler for correct spelling and grammar. (I was actually reluctant to write this down because commenters will now be sure to point out all of my inadequacies in this department. Is that how you spell inadequacies??? Help!)
12. Am a bit anal. Sometimes.
I will update this list peridoically - so keep checking the link in the sidebar!

Self Portrait Tuesday

2006-01-30T18:51:00.000-08:00

I decided to join Self-Portrait Tuesday. Every Tuesday (or close to that), there'll be a picture of me with a short explanation (perhaps). This should be fun... scroll down for the first one!

Self-Portrait Tuesday I

2006-01-30T18:42:00.000-08:00

The theme for February is "all of me". So...
...here's a picture of me being eaten up by the internet. It pulls me in so much that everything else in the house goes undone all day, only to be hastily fudged together at the last minute (e.g. dinner "Wanna eat out?", cleaning "I'll get to it tomorrow" etc.).
So there you have it.

This just in...

2006-01-27T06:53:00.000-08:00

I know it's been a while, but in this (early) post, you can read what I think about Oprah.
Once you read through that, you'll understand why I love this Slate article so much. And James Frey? I don't really care, but the world is full of liars - and he's a good one. Very skilled. Now if only he hadn't blown his cover, he could have had a brilliant career in politics.

Where were you on the night of the 23rd?

2006-01-24T11:09:00.000-08:00

This evil little black sock hid in the washer when the time came for his load (and his partner) to be transfered to the dryer. He then flirted with a load of underwear and towels. The towels were apparently uninterested, but the underwear cozied up with this little deserter. Unfortunately, the naive panties noticed too late what incredible danger they were in, and must now suffer the consequences. Their reputations - and fabrics - are forever stained.
The sock has been degraded to least favorite and will only fulfill his sock-destiny (be worn on feet) in cases of clothing emergencies.

Weren't you wondering?

2006-01-23T19:10:00.000-08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about European!

If you blow out all the candles on European with one breath, your wish will come true!
European is the largest of Saturn's moons!
Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by European fighting underground.
Europeanicide is the killing of European!
European can be seen from space.
Every day in the UK, four people die putting European on.
Contrary to popular belief, European is not successful at sobering up a drunk person, and in many cases she may actually increase the adverse effects of alcohol!
European will often rub up against people to lay her scent and mark her territory!
The fingerprints of European are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat European'!

An open letter to the stupid jerk with the red hair

2006-01-19T10:27:00.000-08:00

So... you think you're all that, huh?!!

Jerk with the weird fire-engine red hair spikes,
I'd like to know how what you did to the Jesus-looking kid in Spanish class was funny. Or, as you put it, something that would "throw off la profesora." I know that your frontal lobe or some such part isn't fully developed yet and that as a result of that, you can't fully understand the consequences of your actions, but this? Was just too low. You know that la profesora is anal about cell phones ringing in class, and you knew that the Jesus-kid would get into trouble when you called his phone in the middle of class.
I deeply regret that I didn't say anything to you about that (but remember that look I gave you - that was disapproval that scares the living daylights out of elementary school kids). Be warned that if you ever do something like that again, I will not sit there silently.
Sincerely,
tu companera de clase

For Grace

2006-01-17T22:21:00.000-08:00

frustration, lingual confusion, new blog, and scrolling down

2006-01-15T13:08:00.000-08:00

My job search is verrrrry frustrating these days. I'm grumpy. I feel like I will never work. Untrue, but very convincing nonetheless.
I started a Spanish class at a local community college. You need to know two facts about this college:
1. Highly esteemed institution of higher learning (for reals).
2. Rated by playboy or some such publication to have the hottest girls.
After only two sessions, I already have the rep that la profesora can call on me for hard questions. I don't know if I should likelikelike this or hatehatehate this. I also get all my romance languages messed up in my head when I learn Spanish. So don't ask me what something Spanish means in English (I could tell you in German, and don't ask me what that weird word in that (otherwise) Spanish sentence meant. That was French, you silly thing! I hope I get a handle on this.

I started a new blog to post pictures. Go there now and meet Samson, the furry man in my sister's life!

Also: Don't miss a story in which I triumph over a revolting chicken (scroll down).

The chicken challenge

2006-01-14T19:38:00.000-08:00

I decided to try something new as far as cooking is concerned. Really, I was reading Real Simple magazine, and saw the recipe for a "simple roast chicken."
Here is what happened:

The chicken and the pan-thingy I’d never used before (came with the oven).

nekkid chicken

Not thrilled to find out I had to touch the nekkid chicken to “rinse inside and out and pat dry” (actually became a vegetarian right when I unwrapped the poor dead chicken).

The tools I used to touch the chicken.
First I made myself stop dry-heaving, then I …

…and then I touched it.

I spice-sprinkled it since spice-rubbing it was out of the question.

Off it went into the oven.

Hot chick, eh?!!

The perhaps unfortunate end to this story was the greedy devouring of above mentioned chicken by the new vegetarian.

...in which DIY strikes back

2006-01-04T08:49:00.000-08:00

This is the time of year when I am suddenly filled with an urge for change. What better than to change the setup of our screwed-up office/guestroom/TV-watching-room? I prepared by measuring things and cutting paper models to scale to decide on where things could go. The whole "it looks like it'll totally fit so let's just move it" thing is SO last year!*
There are two IKEA bookshelves in the room. They came with a plywood back that I didn't put on initially. I decided that it was now or never - those shelves have some leaning problems, and I really don't want to be put into a coma by a heavy, leatherbound Shakespeare collection falling on me.**
So I removed all the books from one of the shelves, pulled it out into the living room, and moved the coffee table so the shelf could lie on the rug, so that my nailing the back onto that thing wouldn't scuff the floor.*
I fetched the plywood from the garage and found the little plastic bag of nails it came with. Then there was a second trip to the garage to fetch the hammer.
The plastic bag was very elastic, and when I ripped it open, nails exploded all over the living room. After I finished laughing my head off, I picked up the ones I could find and started nailing the backing onto the shelf, which is when I noticed that the hammer was still a little dirty with tar from D. fixing a leaky garage roof a while back. I mumbled something about cleaning the blood off your sword and continued my hammering. Suddenly, I noticed something sticky on the side of my arm. Sticky and black! TAR!
So I took a little break from hammering, in which I washed off my arm and D. (while trying not to laugh about my righteous indignation) washed off the hammer, which had tar on the (black) handle.
Then I hit my index finger with the hammer.

Other than that, it went really well.
And when I nailed the second shelf, I used scissors to cut open the bag of nails.*

The rearranging of the room is now "almost" done. All the furniture is moved, but all the books, papers, binders, office supplies and random things we own are strewn about the room in true chaotic Sonja fashion.
I did hook up my computer, and we can sit on the couch and watch TV.
What's not to like?

Also: My friend said I was brilliant (on a completely unrelated topic). SO what's one messy room when you personally are brilliant?!!

* See, even I learn stuff sometimes!
**Notice how I prove my intelligence and sophistication by casually mentioning my ownership of a heavy, leatherbound Shakespeare collection (courtesy of my uncle).

I resolve...

2006-01-01T11:47:00.000-08:00

New Year's Resolutions are a mixed bag. I've always had them, but never made them known for fear of failing publicly. I've never believed that I'd be capable of sticking to my resolutions. This year, I decided to give myself more credit. Here's my goal for the new year, internet:
In 2006, I want to live whole-heartedly.
I've noticed that I am stuck in an unhealthy and unfullfilling pattern of not putting my heart into the things I do, however trivial they might be. I want to stop my mind from being busy with things other than the here and now.
Words fail me, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

What did you resolve to/not to do this year?

obligatory Happy New Year post

2005-12-31T06:37:00.000-08:00

This post has been removed due to exceeding the level of uninterestingness permitted on blogger. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you.

Instead, we bring you this picture, and recommend you scroll down for an upbeat post about international travel. Thank you for your patience.

...and you thought I went to Germany to visit my family!

2005-12-30T12:48:00.000-08:00

We had a good trip. There was lots of sleeping and eating (oh, the eating!) and hanging out with family and friends and gift-giving and gift-getting.
We saw Neuschwanstein in the snow on a gorgeous day:

We trimmed the tree with real candles:

And now, we're sleeping off the jetlag.
More pictures and adventurous stories to follow!

PS: I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and was quite pleasantly surprised. I now officially confess that I like Johnny Depp. I mean, there's no knowing if he's a decent actor or not, but I do enjoy the persona he usually plays. Excepting Edwards Scissorhands.

It's been six months...

2005-12-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

...since my last visit to the old country, so it's time to go again. The last few days have been a frenzy of gift buying, laundry doing, and bag packing. The airport shuttle is coming in an hour, and we'll be off to Chicago and then Germany. I have about 17 little things left to do, so this has to be quick!

First: A wrap-up of the student teaching thingy:

During my last week, my students were awful. On Monday, things were fine just as any other Monday (these kids are great on Mondays - maybe tired out from all the partying they do on the weekends...). On Tuesday, I had a hard time not banging my head into the wall in frustration in the face of so much misdirected energy. Argh! It was so bad, that after school, I couldn't stand to wait for my carpool buddy D. for the usual 3.5+ hours. Instead, I went to the movies (theater in walking distance - excellent!). For the first time in my adult live, I bought popcorn and a drink (water... exciting, I know) at the movies. I paid less for my ticket... I saw Harry Potter and it was just. so. good! I hated - nah, despised - the Prisoner of Azkaban. It's my favorite of the books, and they made such a mess of it that I was fuming for days after seeing it. I was reluctant to even see Goblet of Fire, but alas, it was playing at 4pm, so... great movie.
The rest of the week, my kids got better, but they still overall had not had a worse week since I'd come. Grrrr. My favorite moment happened on Thursday during Math. We were learning about fact families and they had a hard time with the subtraction problems. So when we were getting started on the subtraction part in our second example, I told them "This is a little hard, but I know you can do it, because you guys are so smart!" One boy promptly replied "I'm not smart." which caused a slew of other kids to pipe in with "Me neither." I decided that this was more important than Math and sat down with them. I went through the whole class in number order and told them why I knew they were smart. E.g. "I know (name) is smart because she is good in math. She gets stars on her papers all the time." Then I rounded out the speech with a general "Don't you ever let anyone tell you that you are not smart!" And then I had to quickly get back to subtraction to keep from crying.

Second: A quick overview of the almost heart-attack:

For the last couple of months I was under the impression that our flight was leaving on Wednesday. I had beautiful plans: Relax and clean over the weekend, then go Christms shopping on Monday, laundry and packing on Tuesday. I loved the plan. Until I printed out the reservations and saw that we were in fact leaving on Tuesday, not Wednesday. My beautiful plans withered and died. So sad.

Third: The near nervous breakdown weekend:

The shock at the death of my beautiful plan was hard to get over. You might think that a person who finds out on Thursday night that her plans cannot work out would just adapt. A normal person might do just that. Me? I got mad at the universe and sulked for a while. By Saturday, I was back on track enough to concede to hitting the mall and bookstore with D. for mutual Christmas shopping. But then? I had a major gift crisis! That man! He has everything! And despises waste! So buying a gift for him is nearly impossible. So I went over budget a bit and bought him a beautiful coat. Of course, he needs that NOW, not on the 24th (which is, of course, the real Christmas). So... I needed something else. He then picked himself out a CD that I proceeded to wrap for him. That'll be some surprise!
Anyhow. Then I got a bad haircut, because obviously I couldn't do it on Tuesday with my regular person AS PLANNED. Jennifer, if you read this: I'm sorry I cheated. I will be back as soon as it's grown out beyond recognition. Sorry.
My bangs were too short, my gifts were not surprises, my hormones were riding their stupid little rollercoasters in my brain, and I was mad. Poor D. went into hiding with his second love, the computer. Which of course made me madder. And then I broke down crying and telling him that Christmas needed to be skipped because he was impossible to give stuff to. So then we talked and we had Christmas right there and then. (The life lesson here is of course to let the crazy woman have whatever might distract her from her misery for a while.) D. got me some really nice PJ's that I like ohsomuch. And a robe that goes with them. And he loved his coat. And then we snuggled on the couch and watched a movie and all was calm and bright and all that.
On Sunday, I was back to my evil madness. D. swooped in yet again to rescue me from myself.

Fourth: The recovery

On Monday, I basically sucked it up and did what needed to be done. Here's a list:
* Dropped off my paperwork at the university.
* Dropped off a gift at a friend's house.
* Did laundry.
* Went to the mall about bought a SECRET GIFT for D.
* Packed
* Cleaned a bit.
* Printed, cut, and glued, enveloped, and mailed out 30 Christmas cards and 2 packages.
* Went out to dinner for excellent Fajitas.

So now, I must go. I will be back in time for a last post in 2005... Until then: Have wonderful holidays. Or at least try.

And if you've read all the way to the end, give yourself a pat on the back!

stress and hormones...

2005-12-12T15:00:00.000-08:00

... a killer combo to make your weekend REALLY enjoyable!

Christmas - a time to severely damage your neighbor's cornea

2005-12-05T21:31:00.000-08:00

There is an inflated snowglobe on a house by the school. Down by my house, there are several blinky and all-too colorful Christmas-spirited tastelessnesses. Unfortunately, pictures taken at night will just not turn out. Imagine... or not.

Just a quick update before I go to bed:
I walked by #1's (cheaterpants) desk today and saw a heaping heap of pinkish stick-onto-the-top-of-your-pencil erasers in there. So I went and got a ziploc sandwich bag and helped her put them in there. Walking away, the penny dropped. I zoomed over to my desk and checked the box of 100 erasers that was there. Preeeeeetty empty compared to before... So I sat next to my Master Teacher, put my head on the desk, and asked her: "Do we have to have these kids here every day? School would be a lot more relaxing without them." Thank God, she understands. And, since we both weren't sure how full the box was before, I couldn't nail #1. Cheater - thief: not a stretch at all.
#2 left the school today (remember his little audience with the principal). They moved, but the timing was just too funny. Hehehe.
#4 was back from his little "day off" and left early to be taken to the pediatrician to get that potential ADD (now there are voices saying it might be tourettes) checked out. It only took the woman 4 suspensions to figure it might be a good idea to check into the bahvior problems. Hmmm.
#11 came up to me and asked me if I was still mad at him for cheating on his spelling test. Of course I wasn't. You wouldn't have been if he'd looked up at you like that, all meek and whiny-ish (in a good way).
I moved #8 from the last to the first row, so now he sits next to #4. Since they're right up front, I only have to walk closer to their desk and they shut it. Ha! A victory for teacher (oh I hope that didn't jinx it...).
Finally, I had a talk about self-control with them. Good times. I always love to role-play misbehavior. I pick one of the good little quiet girls in class to pick a fight with me. Hilarity.

And now a joke:
A string walks into a bar. The bartender asks him: "Are you a string?" - "Yes." "I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We don't serve strings." The string is sad, but he leaves. The next day, he tries again. Again, the bartender asks him: "Are you a string?" - "Yes." "I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We don't serve strings." The string leaves saddened. The next day, he walks into the alley next to the bar, ties himself up into a knot, and uses his comb to unravel one of his ends a bit so it'll look like hair. Then he walks into the bar. The bartended asks him: "Are you a string?" - "I'm a frayed knot."

har, har
Good Night, Internet!

in which all kinds of exciting things happen

2005-12-04T22:28:00.000-08:00

It's been a long week, people, and I haven't even gotten around to some sort of a Thanksgiving post! THe highlight of T-day was the cake I made. The pictures are on FlickR, so check them out. We were thankful at D.'s granparents' house which I wish was closer to our house because Holiday traffic = not good. The cake though, the glorious cake was so supergreat, I tell you! I saw the idea on Thunderfish, where Jef made one with his son.

This past week I had a) morning yard duty, and b) full take-over (which means that I have to be in charge of everything during student teaching). Morning yard duty sucks because the 30 minutes I usually get to spend in my classroom getting ready for the day had to be spent standing around in the cold making sure the kids didn't get into trouble. At least it was a four-day week... I ended up losing lots of sleep and spending 10-12 hours at school each day. Things went well though, so at least it was worth it!

aside: the neighbor... i can hear her right now, having her own special brand of fun. urgh.

Thursday, #1 turned in Math homework her brother had done for her. #1 also tried to cheat on her spelling test twice. #2 went to see the principal (or rather, be seen). #4 was suspended. #11 cheated on his spelling test. #14 rushed through his art project and I made him do it over (ha - I love the powers that come with the job). #11 and #9 got into a "did not"-"did too" shouting match while standing in line. #13 and #8 kept talking to each other while I was teaching, so that neither of them knew what to do when I was done giving directions. By the end of the day, I was really happy that Friday was a teacher-prep day and that I wouldn't see those kids again until Monday. #4 suspended was like being punched in the stomach, but not really that surprising (He was suspended 3 times last year, his first time in first grade). #1 cheating made me mad, because I think that the mom makes a lot of pressure to do well in school, but won't send her kid to the FREE tutoring the school offers. And I was a little shocked because, honestly, how dense is that to do it three times in a row and think I won't notice. I'll be watching #1 like a hawk! #11 on the other hand was crushed when I told him that he was cheating and that that portion of the test didn't count. Of course, a crushed/mad #11 means a hard day of BAAAAAAD attitude for Mrs. European, so that when the phone rang and the office called to have #11 sent up (Mom picked him up early), I was relieved.

On Friday, I went to a craft night at my friend's church. It was really neat, and pictures will be on Flickr soon. I made a wreath (lots of work) and an ornament (lots of fun). Both came out really neat.

Sorry this was so boring. I need sleep.

another post just about me

2005-11-27T21:04:00.000-08:00

W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R . . .
1) Pierce your nose or tongue: nose
2) Be serious or be funny: funny
3) Drink whole or skim milk: ugh - neither

A R E Y O U . . .
4) Simple or complicated: probably more complicated, even though sometimes I'm really simple -- no, definitely complicated
5) Flowers or angels: flowers
6) Grey or gray: grey like the earl
7) Color or black-and-white photos: color
8) Sunrise or sunset: sunrise
9) M&Ms or Skittles: skittles
10) Rap or rock: rock
11) Staying up late or waking up early: both (in phases)
12) TV or radio: radio
13) Apples or oranges: apples

A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y . . .

14) Do you have a crush: yes
15) Who is it: D.

D O Y O U P R E F E R . .
16) Being hot or cold: cold
17) Tall or short people: just people
18) Sun or moon: sun
19) Emeralds or rubies: rubies
20) Left or right: right
21) Having ten acquaintances or one best friend?: one best friend
22) Sun or rain: both in balance
23) Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream: chocolate

M I S C E L L A N E O U S . . .
24) What are your biggest fears in the world: fear itself
25) Kids or no kids: kids (sigh)
26) Cat or dog: dog
27) Half empty or half full: half full most of the time
28) Mustard or ketchup: mustard, but not often
29) Hardcover books or soft cover books: any books
30) Newspaper or magazine?: magazine and Sunday paper
31) Sandals or sneakers: (rainbow) sandals
32) Wonder or amazement: wonder
33) Red car or white car: red
34) Happy and poor or sad and rich: happy and poor
35) Singing or dancing: both

A B O U T Y O U . . .
36) What time is it: 4 minutes past my bedtime (and counting)
37) Number of siblings: 1
38) Birthdate: December 14
39) Height: 5'3
40) Eye color: blue
41) Hair color: blond
42) Piercing(s): right ear - 1, left ear - 4

W H A T D O Y O U W A N T . . .
44) How many kids do you want: 2+

W H I C H I S B E T T E R . . .
45) Two doors or four (on a car): 4
46) Coffee or ice cream: both together
47) Bridges or tunnels: both freak me out a little

F A V O R I T E S . . .
48) Color of socks: white or argyle
49) Food: this cherry cake my mom makes - a chocolate layer, a vanilla layer, pudding, chocolate on the top, and cherries dropped in - hmmmmmmm
50) Non-alcoholic drink: tea
51) Alcoholic drink: wine

I A M . . .
52) Wearing: jeans, T-Shirt, birthday cardigan, socks
53) Listening to: computer hum and D. puttering about the house

C U R R E N T S. . .
54) Hairstyle: short but in need of a trim
55) Annoyance: the chair I'm sitting in: uncomfortable and no place to rest my feet on
56) Smell: buttermilk baby lotion I use - I smell like freshly baked cookies...
57) Show: TV is off for now, but I just got through watching all 12 episodes of Fawlty Towers which is awesomely funny
58) Book: One Hit Wonder by Lisa Jewel
59) Refreshment: None... "Honey..?"
60) Thought: This is more fun than doing homework!

Recent Whinings

2005-11-22T19:30:00.000-08:00

I really wanted to write a post about how everthing is good becuase I'm feeling better - no more coughing til gagging every night etc.
Today was not a good day though, so I'm afraid this will be sort of whiny. Out the door goes my resolution to be more upbeat on brainxplosion. But you know what? This is my website and when I'm whiny, it's whiny. So there.
I went to a teacher job fair today. It was put on by my university and attendance was a requirement (which is the reason I went).
I sat for 2 hours in 2 different waste-of-time workshops, which was a nice continuum from this Saturday which I spent at a science conference (you guessed it - a requirement).
The job fair was lame because:
* Schools do not hire mid-year, and if they are forced to, they hire one of their subs.
* I don't know where I will be living come January - D. is interviewing for a job which would require us to move (for the second time in 6 months).
* The districts I am actually interested in were not in attendance.
* My brand-new on sale extremely cute skirt suit was so scratchy that I really just wanted to rip my clothes off and sit on an oversized ice cube (If you don't understand this you have clearly never worn a scratchy skirt for 5 hours).
The science fair was lame because:
* None of the rooms were appropriate for the workshops that were held in them (too small, wrong # of seats, tables not suited for activity...).
* Programs were still at the printers when I showed up 30 minutes after the official starting time.
* The keynote speaker's talk was written for Geology MAs, not for proud-of-my-B-in-Geo and please put-the-fossil-record-where-the-sun-don't-shine me. (I learned a valuable lesson: NEVER SIT IN THE FIRST ROW IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT WANT TO LEAVE EARLY.)
* You stole my Saturday, and now I don't have clean clothes to wear (Saturday = laundry day).

Sonja is lame because:
* She can't get over it.

silver lining

2005-11-17T19:23:00.000-08:00

Coghing is a great abs workout.

daytime television at a whole new level

2005-11-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

I was flipping through channels and happened upon this. As they say, laughter is the best medicine.

In unrelated news: I forgot for the second time in two days to take my medicine in the morning while I was convinced I took it. I should read the pharmacy printout to see if one of the side effects has to do with memory problems.

mind the gap

2005-11-14T17:16:00.000-08:00

This whole sick thing is getting old. I'm sitting on the couch a lot, and there are only so many hours you can spend watching stupid people lie to TV judges.*

For lack of the energy to do anything, I started introspecting. Yes, that could have been good news, but it's not. I discovered a gap between my life and my personality. Or maybe between my life and the life I wanted. Currently, my life is insane. When Mom said I needed to stop burning the candle from both ends, she was right. These days, my mail goes unopened until the weekend arrives, my emails stay unanswered, my craft projects get put aside "for later." It's just not fair. I want to express myself. I want to be spontaneous. I want to cook and bake. I want to paint the bathroom. I want to have order in my house. I want to have time for my husband. I don't want to laugh at people when they ask me when we could hang out together (before Christmas - can you believe the nerve???).

Now, I understand that I'm doing my student teaching right now, and that it's crazy-busy for everybody. I understand that choosing to live over 40 miles away from school is not making my life easier right now.
The good thing is that this is temporary. TEMPORARY. Yes!
The gap in my life widens when I think about what's next. And quite frankly, I don't think this stress will ever let up. Ever.
Hope, anyone?

*I have no cable and get only two channels. Three on a good day. LOOOOOOTS of Judge Judy.

all new

2005-11-13T18:34:00.000-08:00

In case you hadn't noticed, I changed my template. I lost my links and my stat counter and my little Harry Potter badge, but here it is: All shiny and new, as Madonna would say.

no longer on the verge of death

2005-11-13T14:24:00.000-08:00

I was going to post about how I'm feeling better, but I don't feel like it just now. Suffice it to say that I'm starting to get my strength back after almost 3 days entirely spent laying in bed or on the couch, and that I sstarted taking Amoxicillin because my dear little throat is still very sore.

With luck, I'll be back at school on Tuesday. Or Wednesday maybe. We shall see.

I quickly want to share something nifty: Blogger makes me grin. When I post a comment, it says "Choose your identity." It makes me feel like an undercover superhero. Which really, every teacher is.
Just the costumes are not so great.

I blame #6

2005-11-11T11:57:00.000-08:00

The kid-germs have gotten to me. On Wednesday night, I was out with a bunch of friends who are also student teaching. We went bowling and eating - veeeeery nice. When I got home, my throat felt sorta sore, but I blamed it on the, ehem, liveliness of the evening (not that I was shouting or anything). I woke up in the middle of the night and the throat was still sore. Which made me grumpy. And then it made me get out of bed to drink an Airborne - just about the best thing ever, so: buy it, internet people! Alas, it was to late for me. On Thursday, I went to school full of energy, with a good attitude, and with my scratchy throat. Thrusday night, I barely made it home I was so miserable. At some point I noticed that my face hurt and I started to realize that it hurst because I was forcefully keeping my mouth shut because swallowing hurt so much. This morning, I barely even woke up!

Here's a conversation with student #6 (they all have numbers which really helps with classroom management blahblahblah - since I can't very well tell you her name, she will be #6):
Mrs. European: Hi #6! I'm glad you're back. Are you feeling better?
#6: Yeah (sniff). I'm fine, really (cough, cough). My mom says I had the croup last night.
Mrs. European: Well, I'm glad you're feeling better.

NOTE TO PARENTS: I KNOW IT STINKS FOR YOUR KID TO MISS SCHOOL BUT WOULD YOU GET A FREAKING GRIP AND KEEP YOUR GERM-COUGHER AT HOME??? YOU JUST INFECTED THE SECOND-MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE CLASS, DIMWIT!

I'm sad. It comes with being sick. I'm also angry, because my doctor, who I've been going to for a good five years, is leaving the office at 2 today. Maybe he could squeeze me in on Monday.
Ehem. I will be dead on Monday, I believe. So I found a new doctor.

Please note that I have a fever and can therefore not be held accountable for anything I just wrote. Check out my sick picture on Flickr.

my friend, the list

2005-11-07T21:34:00.000-08:00

I have written oodles of posts over the last few days -- in my mind, that is. Now I have computer trouble to top off the general lack of time problems, and so I decided to make a list.

* Over the last two days, I have reformatted the hard drive on my PC 4 times. This is a long story and not at all pleasant, so I'll leave it at that. Denial works for me.

* This Saturday, I was at The Gap, and they played a Christmas song. On November the fifth - FIFTH! All that adrenaline helped me do some serious shopping that has put me in possession of The Cutest Ever Red Shoes. And The Beautifullest Purse That Is A Graduation Gift. I will post pictures soon (when the computer cooperates).

* My digital camera has finally arrived which means that the website I bought it from (for over $150 less than retail) was NOT a scam. Yessssss! Picture that!

* Today, I saw kids working on math pages without names on them, so I said "I sense a disturbance in the force. There are some math papers in this room without names on them." I thought I was pretty funny, but 6-year olds don't get that kind of humor. Then one of the kids said "How did you know that?" Cracked me up! He hasn't learned what all my friends know: Never take Mrs. European entirely serious.

* I was vacuuming last week, when suddenly the vacuum made this whincing sound and then started to smoke. Now I have to buy a new one. SUGGESTIONS PLEASE! Is the never-looses-suction Dyson worth it?

* I wonder about stuff. Like, why do first-graders run everywhere, but when they walk in line as a class the line gets longer and longer because they walk slower and slower? And why can they not just walk right behind the person in front of them? Why do they have to walk loopy circles all over the place? Why do they giggle and nod when I role-play how to walk in line (and how not to walk in line) and then NOT DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF PEACE?
Just wondering.

When six-year-old-ness rubs off on you...

2005-10-31T21:04:00.000-08:00

... you will stand at the In'N'Out counter with your receipt (order #3) and pleadingly look at the guy handing out food saying "three, three, three" while he is calling 89.*

I didn't actually do that, but it crossed my mind. Then, instead of saying "three, three, three" like a crazy person, I started chuckling heartily to myself. What's worse, I wonder?

*First-graders still need to learn that it won't actually make you call their table team number when they whisper it to you.

genius!

2005-10-29T15:25:00.000-07:00

first grade magic

2005-10-27T23:12:00.000-07:00

I've written this post many times in my head, so writing it in reality is pretty exciting. I'm hoping it'll be out of my head once I purge it onto the page. So here we go:

First graders move, and talk, and get so excited about stuff (like loose teeth) that they have a hard time paying attention. First graders feel like a million bucks when you call them to the board or let them use a whiteboard marker or touch the overhead projector. First graders go to great lengths when promised candy. First graders are little, and they want to play.
When teaching first graders, you have to become comfortable with dealing with humanity in a mostly unadulterated from - crying during story time, wet pants on the way to the bathroom, tattling over who did what to whom over recess, stories about going to court with ex-parents, comments about your hair and shoes. No matter what you expect, something unexpected will always happen - quite often it's even something really good.
I'm going to be telling first grade stories for a while, and here's the first one:

When I teach, I sometimes have to say the same thing approximately 27 times (note: I have 18 students). I constantly remind my students of the rules, and often enough, I feel like I'm working at a flea circus. But at other times, first grade magic happens. I might be reading a story when I notice the stillness of the classroom. Children sit with their mouths open and their eyes wide, just listening. I breathe those moments. I live for those moments. I love those moments. In those moments, the world is right, the stars are aligned, and the force is balanced. In those moments, I love my students. I love my profession.

said just now to me...

2005-10-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

"He's like an orange glowing tooth-head"

and the world just keeps turning

2005-10-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

Last year, I was an instructional aide for three sixth-grade classes. There are some kids I considered "my" students; they were the ones I helped the most. One of those kids was a quiet, overweight boy with poor spelling and labored handwriting, math abilities, and breathing. He stayed in pretty much every lunch period to do homework with me. At some point, I learned that he had tragically lost his mother when he was in second grade. His father was overwhelmed, as was the older sister.
Fast forward to this morning, when I heard through the teacher's lounge grapevine that this weekend, that boy's father passed away.

I feel so sick.

the tag snag

2005-10-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

Now that I"m done with the tags, let me tell you about writing these seven seven thing things. When Stephan tagged me, I was very excited. MY VERY FIRST TAG, I thought in all caps. YIPIEEEEE!
Then I started writing and it was HARD. I don't think about those things much, I guess. Also, I had a strong need to be funny whilst vulnerably revealing my personality. Problematic! I worked my way through the first few paragraphs and felt better. Then, doom hit with attractive males. I just know that I like my husband, okay? I even like the things he does that drive me insane. We just work together - but that's only one thing, not seven. Then I thought about his looks and started listing stuff. #3 was "imperfect teeth", and all of a sudden it hit me. Kirsten Dunst said she liked imperfect theeth in that interwiev I read with her while wasting time at the mall. What I was writing was not me!!! The only thing for me to do in order to actually help you learn about me was to erase all the stuff I'd had to pull out of my butt (not literally, of course). What you have is much more true than any seven things I could have written.

I'd have loved to tag people, but too many of the people I had in mind have already been tagged with this very same tag. So I decided to post a picture of a condom and circumvent that question, too.

So, here are seven things you learned about my personality today:
1. I want to be funny at all times. For example, right now.
2. I don't overanalyze the kinds of things other people overanalyze (but I do overanalyze - just other stuff, e.g. what I said vs. what I should have said etc.).
3. I am a dork who gets excited about being tagged.
4. I love my husband. A lot.
5. I waste time at the mall (waiting to be picked up after work-school for about 3-4 hours - the mall is just close-by...).
6. I love run-on sentences and ----- hyphens and ()()()()()() parentheses.
7. I explain things. Then I explain the explanations. Just in case something was not quite clear yet, I explain the explanation of the explanation.

the end of the tags which will make you call me a spoilsport, but at least I'm honest

2005-10-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

Seven things I find attractive in a male:

Never thought about it. Either I feel it or I don’t, I guess.

Seven celebrity crushes?

I know I’m lame, but I don’t crush like that. I just don’t. Sorry.

Seven people who have nothing better to do than to get tagged:

Errr, I’m sorry. This seven things tag is spreading like an STD and I’m going to protect you. Consider yourself tagged if you’d like to share – I’d love to read it.
And please don't hate me for weaseling my way out of answering, ok?! ;o)

tag two, three, and four of seven

2005-10-19T20:50:00.000-07:00

Seven things I can do:
1 laugh hysterically with VERY LITTLE outside encouragement

2 make lemonade when life deals me lemons

3 use humor to avoid being real

4 make my husband laugh

5 sulk and pout

6 read stories to kids

7 procrastinate (I’m so good, I put off putting things off)

Seven things I cannot do:
1 get over it

2 get started

3 wear high heels on a regular basis even though I’m short enough to need them

4 plan it and stick to it

5 stop crying once I started

6 lie

7 get my neighbor to zip it

Seven things I say a lot:
1 Stop and no, both at school

2 boys and girls, also at school

3 please and thank you

4 poophead

5 hang on just a minute

6 I’ll do it tomorrow

7 excellent

tag one of seven

2005-10-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

Seven things I want to do before I die:
1 Have a baby.

2 Travel to New Zealand

3 Live in a motor home and drive around (before I retire!)

4 Get enough sleep on a regular basis

5 Dress well

6 Be athletic

7 Have peace

Tag, you're it!

2005-10-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged. I'm working on it. Remeber, I have no social life because I'm ALWAYS AT SCHOOL, the school where computers don't do what I want them to because they're Apples and they must be able to smell the PC on my fingers or clothes or something.

But. I'm working on it.

Oh, and also, scroll down and read the HOLY ROLLER post. It's more exciting than this. Maybe.

The Return of the Holy Roller

2005-10-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

The piece of quiet I had for the last week or so is definitely over. Here's a play-by-play account of what happened last night:
8:00 pm watch Horse Whisperer on TV while squeaking and yelling floats from her window to mine. She has friends over (1 male, 1 female methinks).
10:30 pm Horse Whisperer finally wraps up (after more commercials than movie and with all kinds of vital scenes cut out). All is quiet next door.
11:00 pm Hit the pillows and be out cold (took Benadryl).
1:45 am Jolt awake. Squeaking, squealing and YELLING LOUDLY comes from Holy's apartment. It drifts in through the open bedroom window. The sound bounces back and forth between the houses' concrete backyards and is probably louder in my bedroom than it is in hers.
1:50 am IT'S NOT STOPPING! WHAT THE HECK??? D. goes to office window, opens it, and calls "Keep it down, it's 2 o'clock in the morning!" NO BLOOMING REACTION WHATSOEVER!!!
1:55 am D. gets dressed to go knock on the door. I tell him to call the cops instead because I don't want him beaten and/or shot. D. makes the call and we go back to bed. The squealing prevails. LOUDLY, oh ever so loudly.
2:20 am Drifting off to sleep. Police isn't coming. The stupid neighbors leave to get food. Unfortunately, police doesn't show up as they're getting into the car - a DUI would make me feel a little better about the missed beautysleep.
2:22 am It's quiet. Resolve to blog about it and go to sleep.
2:45 am Jolt awake. THE SQUEAKING AND LAUGHING AND YELLING HAS RETURNED!!! Gleefully go and get keychain with teacher whistle. Open office window, blow whistle. Call "Shut up over there!" into the stunned silence. Silence lasts for about 3 seconds, then squeaky squealing and insipid laughing continues LOUDLY.
2:47 am Call police. They apologize for not coming out earlier. They went to the wrong city. BOY AM I GLAD THIS WASN'T SOME SORT OF EMERGENCY (like" I have a burglar in my house" or something like that). Go back to bed.
3:15 am Police has not shown up yet, yelling has not stopped. D. closes bedroom window. I go to sleep.

For all I know, the police never showed up. D. says he could still hear them at 4 am - through the closed window, thankyouverymuch.

Dear Internet...

2005-10-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Internet.
Sorry I haven't written to you in so long. I know it's a lame excuse, but I have been really busy. Last week was my last week of college classes. Everything was due. I stayed up all night one night doing homework, and then napped in unlikely places for the rest of the week.
Last Saturday was my 5 year wedding anniversary. We had grand plans of going to the Wild Animal Park in San Diego. Then we changed our minds and ended up going out for breakfast (yum), then headed over to a pumpkin patch where we bought the three most perfectest pumpkins that now grace our fireplace with their perfect perfection. On the way home, we went to the movies, and then we shared a $4 cup of cappucino at a book store*.
This week is my first week of student teaching. This means that I go to my class (first grade) every day and start teaching one subject (social studies in my case). For the next seven weeks, I go and take over one additional subject each week, so that I teach EVERYTHING, yes, EVERY LITTLE TINY THING for two weeks. So far, it's been good. Of course we only do social studies once a week, so... I'm not exactly overworked. I also get to do morning opening with calendar and caterpillar counting and tooth chart (more details to come) and later, I read stories. I spell words for kids and I count blocks and I listen to the endless litany of "He pushed me." "They're moving the table." and "Can I go to the bathroom?". I sometimes eat my recess snack with my kids, which never fails to make me smile - and they feel so special. I also read notes that say "To Mrs. European. You are the best." "I love Mrs. European." and "I'm vry sroy i was tacen.**"
I love it.
I will be better about updating, I swear.
From your friend,
Mrs. European.

*We have gone away for the weekend every year to celebrate. This time around we were both so overworked that a quiet day with NO CHORES was just what we needed.

**Which of course means: I am very sorry I was talking. (This is a chatty one. I sent a note home (uhhhhh) about it and apparently, the mother talked the fear of goodness-knows-what into the kid. Not that that means a stop to the talking. But she is sroy, so that's something. And she brought me the giganticest giant candy bar ever. Chocolate makes forgiveness flow easily...)

noisy neighbor update

2005-10-01T17:41:00.000-07:00

Jef over at Thunderfish reminded me that a noisy-neighbor-update is in order, so here we go.

Well, the noise has stopped. Holy Roller seems to have been out of town for a couple of days about three weeks ago, and I haven't seen Military BF since. I have several theories as to why:

He shipped out. She has not yet found a replacement. (possible)
They patched things up, but she closed the window. (improbable)
They broke up. She has not yet found a replacement. (probable)
He got an apartment and they go about their business there now. (possible)

Whatever the reason, my heart skips with gladness at the restoration of peace and quiet. Ahhhhhh!

picture from corbis